PINK Museum of Hope

 “Have you been to the Museo ng Pag-Asa?” my friend P messaged me yesterday.  

“Yes.” 

“Then why have you not blogged about it?” she probed. 

“How do you know?” I asked, surprised.  

“I read all your blogs.” 

“You do?! Why?” 

“Why not?” she sneered. 

Friends say the nicest things. 

Seven months ago, in March, our driver Sam, Tony and I made time to visit the PINK Museum of Hope, a long two-hour drive from our home on a good day (moderate traffic flow).  

From the moment we entered the gate to the time we left the place, I was all choked up. I could not describe how I felt. Every word stored in my head escaped to somewhere far away.  

On several monitors, we watched one PINK massive rally after another in different places, and in every single one of them, the energy hit the rafters. People of all ages in PINK were all fired up, holding up creative posters and chanting inspiring words. The enthusiasm was palpable. 

Looking around at all the items (gifts to Leni and Kiko) from shelf to shelf, I had goosebumps. These were no ordinary gifts—they were handmade, personalized, and crafted in love. They came in all art forms: sculpture, painting, literature (poetry, letters, coffee table books), music and dance; performing arts; film; and architecture (the place was cleverly constructed to showcase all the thousands of magnum opuses).  

I have never seen anything like it!  

And I am not speaking of just the museum but the spirit that drove it. There is no adjective in the dictionary good enough to describe that PINK treasure-of-a-place and my feelings, especially because the result of the election was the polar opposite of what this place evoked.  

And so I could not blog about it. 

This much delayed upload, prompted by P, does not even begin to capture the essence of what we experienced—through the campaign that culminated in a place not Malacanang, but one called Museo ng Pag-Asa. 

The message drilled into my soul after that visit was HOPE: someday, grace will enable us to vote into office candidates with an honest, honorable heart that beats for service. God, in His infinite 

mercy, will not leave us under the reins of politicians with a dishonest, dishonorable heart that beats for greed.     

“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.” Psalms 42:11 (NKJV)

My BFF Minna Comes Home

My cousin Minna and I grew up together. We were classmates in grade school and on our graduation, our parents gifted us with the same brand of watch, which we both wore on stage—she, as valedictorian, and I, as salutatorian. 

We were inseparable, according to our parents. So even if we parted ways in high school, we still met during vacation and did everything together. In college, we became  inseparable again in UP, until we parted ways when her family immigrated to the US. 

Despite the distance and separation—and many events happening in our individual lives—we kept in touch. Together, we would still giggle like we did in grade school and never ran out of topics to talk about. 

Whenever she came for vacation from the US, I would take a leave from work so we could be together.  We would travel to Umingan to visit our parents and at night, we would talk till the wee hours of the morning—about anything and nothing. 

She put me in charge of her bank accounts. I was shocked, “What?! You trust me with your money?” 

She said, “I trust you with my life.” 

I think she meant that because whenever I would send her a financial report, she would not even read it. 

Although she lived in the US permanently, her heart was always in Umingan—with her parents when they were still alive. She made sure she was here for them. Aside from her parents, she made herself available for her youngest brother, Sam. She told me she would take care of him for as long as she was able. She loved Sam and his children so much she always provided whatever they needed. 

And today, even in death, her wish was to come home to Umingan—the place where her heart was, the place where we grew up, and the place she loved most in the world. Her ashes will be inurned beside her parents' grave after a Memorial Service in our home church. 

This time, she came home not just for a vacation but to stay for good. Welcome home, my dearest cousin. I cannot be there to welcome you back this time, but for me, you really never left. You were, and will always be in my heart forever. 

Pangasinan 2015: Pigging out during one of her visits.

NY 2019. The last time we giggled together--before, during, and after watching "Beautiful" (her nickname, BTW, was Ms. Beautiful) on Broadway. 'Twas a grace-packed day.

The Rashness of Youth

Mariel, a dear friend, was still single when she and I worked in the same office. She was well liked by everyone because of her cheery disposition. Without our knowledge, she was seeing a married man. Soon, she got pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful daughter. She kept this part of her life private.   

Years later, Mariel and her boyfriend (after being legally separated from his wife) got married. In my unbiased opinion, they are each other’s yin and yang.        

During a recent chat with Mariel, she opened up about her pregnancy. “My mom came to Manila because I did not go home for Christmas that year.”  

Entering Mariel’s apartment, her mom fawned over the cute, three-month-old baby in the arms of a yaya. Clueless about Mariel’s status, she assumed that the baby was the neighbor’s.   

“Mom, she’s mine,” Mariel said, taking the baby from the yaya as she prepared for the worst. “But Mom said nothing, perhaps sorely processing all that had happened behind her back.”  

Then her mom cried—and so did I, just listening to Mariel’s story and feeling her mom’s pain. 

But because mothers have a wellspring of love for their children, she cradled the baby in her arms, while Mariel called her boyfriend waiting outside.  

“Up to this day, I don’t know what words were said between him and Mom.”  

Now that Mariel’s secret was out, I bravely probed, “What made you -”   

“I was young, careless, and rash!”  

“Does your daughter know?”  

“No. I don’t want her thinking she was an accident.” 

“But history might repeat -”   

“I am praying for grace that it won’t,” Mariel stressed. “But when she was my age when I had her, I fully understood the impact of my rashness on my mother.”     

How can parents counsel the youth to avoid making rash decisions?  It's a rhetorical question. I have three sons so I never went through that kind of problem. 

The Lord has an answer in Scripture: Proverbs 22:6 (NLT) reads, "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." 

Book Fair (MIBF) 2023

For three years, while hogtied at home by the global brute called Covid-19, I had ached for the return of the annual Manila International Book Fair (MIBF). I kept busy by reading, blogging, and tweaking on-end the books that would have been launched in that event three years in a row. But as you and I know, no activity of such magnitude was allowed. 

Then came 2023 and after the health hogtie was cut loose, the MIBF materialized from hibernation. And irony of ironies, I was caught unprepared for its sudden reappearance. I forgot to invite people and to take photos. All the shots on this page were sent by friends.  

Yes, the Book Fair had the huge crowd of book lovers times one thousand!  There was hardly any space to squeeze one’s body from booth to booth. Many who tried to join the fray complained, “The place was a war zone. We kept battling for a parking space, but losing.”

With my usual entourage—my sister Aie, and sons #1 and #3—I hied to MOA (the venue for years) early so I could catch the launching of my book “Second Chances” at the CSM booth.  As in the previous years before the three-year pandemic, the booth was heavily infested with human bookworms.  

From there, I raced to a lunch meeting with one of my publisher’s CEO and a writer friend.  

After that, we rushed to the launch of OMF’s big books, two of which are my titles (All Aboard with Five Lolas and Half and Half of the "Oh, Mateo!" series). Although my few photos of the event seem tame, the whole day was, believe me, pandemoniacal: chats with readers, photo-ops (with their cameras), meet-up with friends, book signing, and hurried interviews. 

Yes, the MIBF is back! Brought by grace multiplied a thousandfold. 

"This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24 (NKJV) 

Lost September: Found!

In 2020, the first year of the life-threatening corona-virus pandemic, I lamented the loss of my September, when all events I prepared for were cancelled. My plaintive cry: Where are you? Will you ever come again? 

Well, it did! 

Three years later, today, I found September again and all through 30 days, 24/7, it swallowed me up, leaving me no time to come up for air. 

I am not complaining; I am celebrating. 

First, the university where I had been teaching for years before the pandemic offered me a face-to-face flash/crash course in Critical Writing (three sections). That occupied three days of my week plus two days of paper work and consultation. 

Second, the Palanca Awards asked me to chair the board of judges for one category, which had about 75 entries.  

Third, MIBF, where I launched three books, came alive with a vengeance! 

Fourth, our family business—OTSI, a Medical  Transcription School—that son #1 transitioned to fully-online training during the pandemic, has been blessed with unprecedented enrollees (I handle the English module) from various places in the country and the world. 

 

Fifth, but first in priority, the Sunday school for women that I facilitate needs thorough study and marathon Bible reading of various translations. What makes the preparation much longer than normal is—to be inclusive—I decided to conduct the class in Filipino.    

What? An Ilocano teaching in Filipino?!  That must be your thought balloon. 

September grace made all of these possible. 

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 

October is another month . . .

Second Chances: Now a Book

On this same day last year, I received an email with a message that pulled my heart in opposite directions.   

It was from Daff, the Editorial Manager of Church Strengthening Ministry (CSM), one of my publishers. CSM is always on the look-out for what readers need to help bring them closer to Jesus.  

“Here's a topic we feel might be good for our next book project with you:

Second chances/moving forward after disappointment, rejection/heartbreak, failure/wrong decisions, or loss.

"This would appeal to both boomers and millennials. Most people have experienced having doors closing on opportunities, relationships, hopes and dreams, or on a former way of life, especially during this pandemic. But such painful occasions can lead to new ventures.

"We remember how you became an award-winning author after your career in advertising unexpectedly ended! 

"Let us know if this is a topic that would interest you as a writer.” 

I looked back on all the second chances given me and I could not even begin to count them. But I had roadblocks: the health protocols have not been lifted and face-to-face meet-ups might not be possible; worse, would others share their second-chances stories with me? 

More than enough did!  

Through marathon talks over coffee or lunch, and online back-and-forth chats and messages, I was moved by the many stories of second chances. How God turned their struggles around was an affirmation of His love for all who come to Him. 

Each narrative is unique, but unified by willingness to cling on to the Lord, then enter a new season with a stronger desire to follow Him through the rest of the journey. Should they (and we) fall again, we are assured that the God of second chances will generously bestow his grace twice, thrice, multiplied countless times—till earthy life ends.  

In all 11 stories, God stretches his patience far longer than we think possible. In His own perfect time, His grace dashes in, and makes us begin new seasons of unimaginable high from a lowest low.  "Unli" second chances no less—until we get it right with Him. 

Second Chances, the book, is about: lessons learned, hope regained, and life redirected. 

It was launched at the Manila International Book Fair last month (September). 

Making it BIG

“Librarians require big books to be used for storytelling!” Ferdie, the Marketing guru of OMF Lit, messaged me. He ended every sentence with an exclamation point, as though we were talking face-to-face. 

Ferdie is always, as I am, excited over book projects. Grace empowers us to see the bright side, forgetting the sales slump during the pandemic. 

He mentioned two “Oh, Mateo! series” books: All Aboard with Five Lolas and Half and Half. He also specified the new BIG size, but numbers never resonate with me. I asked him instead what I needed to do. “The editor will get in touch with you,” he replied. 

Joshene, the editor, did and said the text should be reduced to half, without losing the flavor of the original. 

BIG job!  

It took weeks before I could finish the abridged versions. I read them to a kid to make sure I got them right. The kid laughed, drooled, and squealed excitedly that I thought I was a genius—for a second or two. 

But other fears quashed that arrogance. Will the images still be as clear and as sharp as Beth Parrocha, the artist, originally created them? Joshene never lost her cool. Back and forth, forth and back, we did revisions, exhanged ideas, as best as we could.  

Two months later, I messaged Ferdie. “When can I see the two BIG books?”  

“At the Manila International Book Fair, in September!”

I rushed to the OMF Lit booth that one day in September to finally caress my BIG books. I was beyond stunned.  

I knew they were going to be big, but not THAT BIG! Everything suddenly grew BIG in and around me after that first shock. Exactly like grace, I thought. It is always bigger than what I ask for.  

I sent copies to my BFF Lucy’s grandchildren—one of whom is Zach, born with Down Syndrome, but who “is now learning to read,” said Lucy. 

Their photo is another BIG moment of grace.  

“When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—the moon and the stars you set in place—what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them?”  (Psalm 8:3-4 NLT)   

Why I Write for Children (Part 2)

Sometime in 2015 (eight long years ago!), I wrote a blog with the same title.  It was an in-depth discourse why indeed do I “bother” (a distressing term from a writer friend) to write children’s books when I can write “real” books, like he does.  

Eight Children’s Book Day have come and gone and people still ask me, “Why do you write books for children?”

I stand my ground; my reasons cannot be moved.   

Then I read this heartbreaking news about our children, “. . . less than 15% of Filipino children are found to be capable of reading a simple text at age 10—placing the country's learning poverty somewhere around 85%.

Learning poverty. Learning. Poverty. 

About the same time, a dear friend, who has a PhD in Education and is a dedicated teacher in a public school, sent me this photo on Children’s Book Day this year. It suddenly hit me.  

There are over 20 million children in the country within this age range today (2023). If 85% (roughly 17 million) of them can’t read, sob, should the question—Why do you write for children?—even be asked?  

I posted this photo on my FB wall and captioned it: “I have many, many reasons for writing for children. These are four of them. The post got over 100 positive responses, which I call affirming grace, in a few hours.  

“Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.” (Psalms 127:3-5 NIV)  

Credits (top photo collage): Rappler and Philippines Orphanage Foundation 

Different Face

Grumpy old man. Cranky old lady. 

Why does the world have titles for people who are growing old?  

There are various reasons, but the most common one offered by doctors is that after the age of 50, people begin to feel aches and pains, which become worse as we age. These limit our movements, causing frustration that is mirrored on our faces. 

In a way, our faces are a visible reflection of our invisible soul. A furrowed brow or upturned lips may reveal an unhappy soul. On the other hand, a smiling lips or glowing eyes become marks of inner radiance.  

How do we reconcile this with what God said in Genesis 1:26 (NLT)?  “. . . Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock . . . ”   

Over the years, we lose our energy and our grip over these creation. The state of our body pains are etched on our faces—wrinkles, blemishes, etc. But what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 3:18 consoles us, “So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.” 

Glorious image. That’s what we have been promised.  

We can’t change the faces we were born with, but we can do something about the kind of person we’re growing into. By His grace, and in His time, you and I will grow toward an inner resemblance to our Lord. 

We can begin today, if we haven't yet.       

Whodunit?

A whodunit is a mystery story that keeps the criminal's identity a secret until the end. But this is a blogsite on grace—let's do away with criminals and focus on their opposite.  

Each time Laura left her apartment, she would take pains bolting her door knob, which was broken, with ropes, tapes, and rubber bands. She could not afford to have it replaced because her monthly pension was barely enough for her daily upkeep. 

While she was in church one Sunday, she received a text message from an unidentified number. “The key to your door is under the third flower pot to your left.”  

As soon as she got home, she was surprised to find her door knob replaced with a new one. She quickly looked for the key and true enough, it was where the message said it would be.

Afraid that someone might have ransacked her apartment, Laura inspected every space, but nothing was missing.  

She went down on her knees to thank God for her anonymous benefactor, who did exactly as Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:1-4 (NLT) about giving to the needy:

“’Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven.” 

He teaches us not to brag about our generosity and acts of charity! “. . . when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.’” 

Whodunit? 

In Laura’s case, it was not a criminal but a kind, anonymous person who gave quietly and secretly—not expecting anything in return. Not even a “thank you.” 

Can you imagine a world of anonymous benefactors like Laura’s? Let me turn that into a statement:  Let’s make a world of anonymous benefactors like Laura’s. 

Rules of the Game

In every game (sports, video, card, board, etc.) there are rules. They are to ensure that the game is played fairly for everyone. These rules, written or unwritten, define the very nature of the game which the players must agree to.  

Rules should not be changed in the middle of the game. Why not? Because there would be confusion. Who will change what? Will everyone agree? 

In this age of diversity and inclusion, rules laid down in ancient times are being changed. 

Because of diversity (differences in race, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, age, etc.), many people think that everyone’s worth and dignity must be included in the fold. An inclusive organization, for instance, promotes and respects all these differences. 

To recognize diversity, rules are being bended beyond belief. What were once wrong are right today. Abortion is now legal in many parts of the world, so is same-sex marriage. 

 

But going back to when the rules were set, this was what the Lord said, “Do not add to or subtract from these commands I am giving you. Just obey the commands of the Lord your God that I am giving you.”  (Deuteronomy 4:2 NLT) 

The ten commandments are the rules of the game called life on earth—then and now. 

 

   

Jesus confirms this in Matthew 5:17-18, “. . . I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose. . . until heaven and earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God’s law will disappear until its purpose is achieved.” 

I believe that no rule in the Bible should ever be changed at any point in our lives. We need to remain steadfast as the world alters God’s rules to suit people’s purposes.  

Team Building

Team building events in many businesses are so important that the organization spends a lot of money just to mount one, usually in a luxurious resort/place away from the office.  What do these companies expect to gain from these activities? 

According to Denver, a CEO, team building activities have helped his company grow. He gave three reasons why:  

1) They increase productivity, because they are organized to accomplish a goal through collaborative work. 

   

2) They improve communication. Within a controlled environment, minus workplace demands, the participants are more open to each other and become closer. 

3) They develop problem-solving skills, because the exercises simulate problems that must be solved. These can eventually be practiced in the workplace.  

 

"After every team building event," Denver added, "I could actually feel pulses beating faster, enthusiasm doubling or tripling, efficiency reaching its peak, and relationships flourishing. That's why team building is a priority in our company's expense budget. The ROI is worth it.”      

Team building in the family of Christ is a must. 

Our goal as believers is to come together so that we could encourage and help each other. "Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near." (Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT)

"So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing." (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

One of our elders in church commended the women’s group, “Your activities—Sunday  school, prayer sessions, and cottage group ministries—are excellent for meet-ups with fellow believers. My wife repeatedly tells me how blessed she is with the sharing of God’s grace in your lives to build each other up.”   

We all know that a day will come when our life on earth will end. Until then, let’s spur each other on.

Second Opinion

 Intestinal gas had always been Yoly’s problem. All she would do was take an antacid pill and the pain would be gone in minutes. This time around, however, no antacid worked.  In fact, the pain in the pit of her tummy was so unbearable she went to see a doctor.  

“Ultrasound,” the doctor ordered. “I want to know where the pain is coming from.” 

The ultrasound revealed a mass in her intestine, so the doctor required biopsy, which would confine Yoly in the hospital.  

Yoly was not convinced so she sought out a second opinion. 

After reading Yoly’s ultrasound, the second doctor said all the things Yoly wanted to hear: change of diet and medication for two weeks. 

In two weeks, Yoly’s pain subsided, but in another month, she was fighting for her life in the hospital: pancreatic cancer, just as the first doctor suspected.  

Research reveals that many people, like Yoly, seek out information that supports their position. We have our own idea about what ails us, so we avoid people who challenge our opinion. We avoid wise advice if it isn’t what we want to hear.  

Such is the experience of many Christians today. Scripture is clear, “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14 NLT) 

“I’ve tried sharing this message to someone dear a few times,” a frustrated friend complained to her dad, “but he asserts another opinion that justifies his way of life.”  

Her dad replied calmly, “As boundless as God’s grace is, our perseverance should likewise be the same. We should keep trying . . . and trying . . . and trying to help an unbeliever find the gateway to life.” Amen. 

Ice bags

My friend shared with me this anecdote about her 80-year-old mother, who always wore, indoors or outdoors, oversized sunglasses.  

“Why do you keep wearing those? Don’t they feel uncomfortable?” she asked her mom. 

“The most uncomfortable things in the world,” her mom replied, joking. “But I keep them on to cover my ice bags.” 

They both laughed at her pun. 

Like wrinkles and crow’s feet, bags under the eyes appear as people age. Over the years, the tissues around our eyes, including some of the muscles supporting our eyelids, weaken. According to doctors, the normal fat that helps support the eyes move into the lower eyelids, causing the lids to appear puffy.  Hence, “ice bags.” 

Trying to maintain a façade of perfection to still be perceived as looking-forever-young does not encourage others to be transparent with their lives. It’s like seeing images of people—on social media—looking better or younger than they actually do in person. 

This kind of “hiding” parallels our spiritual journey, where the only things we show the world are the best of us. This cannot help build up fellow travelers. But sharing our imperfect lives, and when we are a bit more transparent about our failings, we may find people who are struggling in similar ways.  

As we accept our own inadequacy and strip away any pretense, God is able to use us more fully to help others. Apostle Paul said, “. . . I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT) He is an ideal role model! 

God’s grace does not include a mask that shows the world a perpetually rosy picture. So, Like Paul, we need to be transparent, show the real us, to influence others to trust God with their imperfections, too. 

Kidnap for Ransom

Kidnappers choose victims who they think can afford to pay a ransom.

A recent case of kidnap for ransom (2019), reported in newspapers and on TV, happened near Monterrey, Mexico. It involved American Shane Andersen, who moved there to open a chain of pizzerias. 

Anderson and a friend were going fishing when a truck—with three young men carrying  rifles—pulled up and kidnapped them. During their captivity, Anderson was in constant prayer and constant fear. The kidnappers demanded $20,000 for his ransom, and negotiated with his co-worker for an expensive family car in exchange for his life. 

During the ordeal, Andersen’s friend was able to escape. Now left alone with the kidnappers, Andersen knew that God was with him when a young boy, whom he befriended, pleaded to the kidnappers to spare their captive’s life during the negotiation process.

In all, the kidnappers were paid $6,000 by Anderson’s boss. In addition, Andersen gave his wedding ring valued at $7,000. Andersen’s new young friend helped him get to a nearby city. In just over 36 hours, God delivered Andersen safely home.  

The kidnappers priced Andersen’s life at $13,000. That’s a pittance compared to the value God places on each of us. Our worth is not measured in terms of money but by Jesus’ sublime act of grace on our behalf.   

“. . . God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And it was not paid with mere gold or silver, which lose their value. It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God.” (1 Peter 1:18-19 NLT)

That is how much we are worth to God. He paid a ransom nobody could ever think of or afford to give. He gave us His life.  

Going Solo

“Try to come home before the sun sets,” Lita’s father reminded her. “It is raining and it’s dangerous driving alone on slippery roads at night.” 

“I’ll try, Dad,” Lita said.  

Sunset came too soon. When Lita was finally able to leave the party, it was close to midnight. The highway was indeed slippery as the rain continued to pour.  

Suddenly, Lita heard and felt a thump and vibration. “Flat tire!” 

This was followed by a loud flapping noise. Her steering wheel pulled to the right and it took mighty effort to get her car to the curb. Dear God, she whispered. How was she going to manage changing tires alone? 

She decided to stay inside and prayed for a kind soul to help her. Not one, but two kind young men in another car stopped. They were strangers but they were full of compassion and willing to help. All she could do was hold her umbrella over them as they changed her tire under the pelting rain. 

Don’t those two young men remind you of Aaron and Hur, who helped Moses at a critical hour? We read in Exodus 17:8-13 that the Israelites were in battle. “As long as Moses held up the staff in his hand, the Israelites had the advantage. But whenever he dropped his hand, the Amalekites gained the advantage." 

Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands.” In the end, the Israelites won the battle.  

We cannot go solo in following God. We need our faith brethren in church or wherever they may be, to help us persevere through difficulty. 

In the same manner, we could be Aaron and Hur in upholding someone who needs help.  

photo credit

The Thief of Joy

"What is the thief of joy?” I asked this in the context of Marketing in my Consumer Behaviour class.  

The answer of course is “comparison.” 

If you thought you got a good price for an apple at P10.00, you feel content and joyful. However, if your neighbor shows you exactly the same kind of apple and says, “Hey look! I got this on sale for only P8.00!” 

Your joy is suddenly seized from you. 

Marketers study consumer behaviour closely so they can craft a good, competitive strategy. In purchasing anything, consumers find joy in a brand that is “er” (better, cheaper, bigger, etc.) than others. No wonder Theodore Roosevelt is often quoted by Marketing students.  

In the context of life, however, comparison degenerates to envy, jealousy, anger, fear, insecurity, bitterness, plus all the emotions that are the opposite of joy. 

Comparison becomes competition—we feed our ego, grab selfish ambition, and breed conceit to be above others. 

This is a classic example: when our former President was being compared with then VP Leni in helping people in need, he went berserk and castigated her, “Do not compete with me!” and uttered words I dare not repeat.   

What does Scripture tell us about comparison? 

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:2-4 (NIV) 

As we continue to rejoice in the Grace birthed on Christmas, and the salvation He gifted mankind, may we be grateful for our blessings. 

Humility will guard our joy, so it may not be filched by a thief called comparison.  

Hit the Brakes

Rush, rush, rush. 

If you are retired, like I am, this was your and my life’s tempo yesterday.

If you’re still working, this is yours today. You need to get some errands done, go to places to purchase one thing or other, and meet people in a reunion or meeting. But the heavy, standstill traffic stalls you. Before you could blink, the day is over and you have not accomplished all you had planned on doing. 

While running around like crazy, you get stressed. The more you get stressed, the more you can’t concentrate to do your tasks right. Before everything goes haywire, please hit the brakes. 

Just stop. 

You need to be calm and quiet to get your bearings back.  

God showed us how to rest. “On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation.” (Genesis 2:2-3 NLT) 

Jesus did the same. “Then Jesus said, ‘Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile; He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat.” (Mark 6:30–32)

When our speed is too fast and there are too many roads to take, our body feels the pressure. Let’s hit the brakes. Let’s find a quiet place where we can soak in God’s grace and turn off the noise that garbles His voice. As we read His Word and talk to Him in prayer, He will speak to us. 

In Psalm 46:10, He nudges us, “Be still, and know that I am God!” 

Poor Me

On Maning’s 75th birthday, which was celebrated with a grand party mounted by his children and grandchildren, he felt mixed emotions. He was happy that he had come this far. 

On the other hand, he felt ancient, fearful of what is to come, especially because his energy level has dipped tremendously.  

He could no longer do the things that were once so easy. With his aching knees, climbing up the stairs and biking had been difficult, if not punishing. So he gave away  his bicycle and bought himself a rocking chair. 

But those were not the only reasons Maning was troubled. It was also because he no longer called the shots in his own household. His two adult children had taken over. He could feel their impatience when he as much as repeats what he had said previously. 

That’s why self-pity visits him now and then. And when it does, he tells himself, Poor me, and wonders whether he still matters to God.  

The Creator of the Universe created all human beings. Therefore, each of us is worthy of His love and attention, demonstrated when Jesus visited earth in the form of a servant—graphically and dramatically illustrated by His death on the cross. He showed that the big hand of God is for all the small people for whom He came. 

When we, in our sunset years, find ourselves wallowing in self pity, overwhelmed by the pain of insecurity and poor self worth, let’s reread this verse: 

Luke 12:7. “. . . the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” 

We need never say, “Poor Me” ever again. 

Me? Evangelize?

Ten years ago (Facebook reminded me), I attended a seminar on evangelism, all because my friends in church encouraged me to join them. I could not tell them that. . . I do not have the gift of evangelism. I am not a verbal human. That would have been a cop out.   

Verbal. That’s what I knew about evangelism while growing up as a third generation Christian. It is to proclaim the gospel with our lips to people—after which, God will work in their hearts to bring them to faith.  

Sure enough, the seminar was all about the steps in evangelizing: how to approach non-believers, introduce the gospel via simple illustrations and verses, answer possible questions, and finally, praying with them the sinner’s prayer. 

The seminar ended with each one of us doing our personal poster with our name on it and the words “Jesus saves.” I gamely did mine. 

The lesson was all too clear, concise, coherent, and cohesive to everyone. I said silently, Why am I not getting it? Am I resisting it? 

That night I prayed for courage to do as taught. 

My co-attendees took the seminar to heart and soon, they were actually doing it (step-by-step) and reporting about their successes. 

And I could not even begin. 

One day, I received a letter from someone who has read one of my books. She said she has come to know the Lord more through my book. And may I please keep writing? 

Keep writing . . . 

That’s what I love doing most: writing about His grace and how it works in the lives of those I know and have come to know through their testimonies shared with me. 

I then realized that evangelism is not all about oral sharing (don’t get me wrong—that works for many others) to save souls but to glorify God. It is He, through the Holy Spirit, Who moves people.  

And I, through my pen (okay, keyboard), not my lips, can share about His grace through life-changing true stories that are underpinned by His Word.  

In short, I don’t and can’t preach. All I can do is weave stories with God’s truth from the good Book. 

Woven into these tapestries of narratives (over 60 published books to date) is my one main theme: “Jesus saves.” 

No, but I Can Crochet

That one Saturday when the seniors in our church danced the morning away happened again. It’s a once a month event. But this time, we danced only a little, and did something else—crochet—to exercise arthritic hands and fingers. 

The moment Cely, our leader, announced, “Let us crochet,” my mind time-travelled to that other horizon in my other life when I was an EVP in an ad agency. 

We were to shoot a TV commercial with a famous singer/dancer as our talent. Everyone lionized her because she made it to Broadway and starred in one blockbuster musicale. 

I was at the set too early, way before call time. Not one in the production house was there except the security guards. Suddenly the mother of the celebrity walked in and asked in a loud voice, “Where is my daughter’s dressing room?” 

That place had only one ladies’ dressing room—for the talent (with her entourage) and the agency lady executive (me). I led her to the room and said, “I am sharing it with her.” 

She looked at me from head to foot and said with derision, “Why, can you also sing and dance?” 

Our office had a dictum: talents and clients are always right. 

I smiled, said nothing, but my thought balloon screamed, No, but I can crochet! 

Aloud I said, “Oh, okay, your daughter can have full use of the dressing room.” I had full responsibility of the final production output, but any chair would do as my working/resting space. 

Although this scene happened a long time ago, it replayed clearly in my mind when I heard the word “crochet.” Back then, I fumed inside. But this time around, I laughed out loud. Everyone asked what was so funny and I told them the story.  They laughed with me, then we all turned serious when we started crocheting, following design instructions from a video.  

Fame and fortune can swell one’s pride. But the good Book reminds us, “Mockers are proud and haughty; they act with boundless arrogance.” (Proverbs 21:24 NLT) 

In part, 1 Peter 5:5 says, “. . . God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

On to some dancing (yes, now I can dance!), but sing? That'll have to wait. 

High-Res Photo for Book cover

My publisher sent me the cover layout of my new book that will be launched a month from now at the Manila International Book Fair (MIBF). I’d have given it a thumbs up except for . . . my photo?! 

It’s a three-year-old-photo-studio shot (below), required for a coffee table book. Since it was professionally done, it has high resolution and fit for publication. 

But the pandemic completely altered my appearance. I no longer go to the beauty parlor, so my hair is now long and cut amateurishly by our househelper. The three-year quarantine also took a toll on me, as revealed by the looking glass. 

“That isn’t me anymore!” I messaged back, and attached four of my faces, cut out from group shots. 

Alas, the layout artist disapproved them all and required a high-res photo. No way was I ever going to a photo studio again and go through another posing ordeal. 

My solo photos through the years are mostly stolen or candid shots. The posed ones are those in groufies or a group. Somehow, my family is averse to posing for photos—which is ironic, because my daughter-in-law is an excellent and in-demand professional photographer in the US. 

Anyway, this is one of my favorite pictures of me. 

Someone took it while I was facilitating our women’s Sunday school (my happy place) in church recently. It will not make it to any book cover but it made it to my treasure chest of grace. 

You guessed right; the artist will use my three-year old photo.  

Hanging Out

Young people love hanging out with friends. It’s a time to let their hair down, talk about topics that interest them, and joke around. Psychologists say this activity has benefits: boosts one's mental health; helps one celebrate good times; and provides support during bad times. 

As one gets older, however, adult responsibilities—career, parenthood, church ministries, community involvement, etc.—get in the way of this enjoyable activity.  

“Never stop hanging out,” Mr. Gonzales, the speaker at a young couple’s seminar, said. “There is a Friend you really should hang out with—always.”   

The audience gave each other a look that asked, Who is that?   

“Jesus. Many of us hang out with Him only on Sundays. So what does that make Him? A Sunday God.”

The audience again gave each other a look that said, I never looked at it that way. Then an uneasy coughing filled the room. 

“Our busyness just keeps piling up, so we miss the most important aspect of our friendship with God—hanging out with Him.” 

Mr. Gonzales identified the many blessings of the audience today that he never had in his time: mobile phone, laptop, cable TV, You Tube, Social media, etc. “The Word of God now, your time, is readily available on these platforms,” he stressed. 

“Hanging out with God means studying, obeying, loving, trusting, and modeling His Word. Let’s soak in God’s grace and study His Word to build on our faith in Jesus, our Savior.” 

He then read Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT), “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” 

He capped his talk with Proverbs 30:5, “Every word of God proves true. He is a shield to all who come to Him for protection.” 

Amenities Leave, Memories Stay

For about 25 years, our family had frequented an amazing resort out of town. There we spent a night or two and basked in all the amenities for its paying (a steep fee paid with hard-earned installments while I was still in workplace) club members. 

Every cent had been worth it. 

The place is perched on a mountaintop, with every landscaped nook accessible via winding roads. It offered an unrestricted view of Taal volcano/lake and the towns that surround it. 

We’d bring guests and friends here, who’d gush, “Breathtaking!” It was our palette of happy colors! 

Everything suddenly faded when the pandemic assaulted us. 

 

Now, after three long years, the health protocols have been scrapped.  And so we thought of spending the weekend there (despite the two overlapping typhoons pummeling us with rains and winds) to claim back our palette of happy colors that we so missed.

At the entrance gate, there was only one car—ours. The glass-pained front office that used to teem with people was empty.  

The reception area was dim. The pool tables were moved there from the recreation room. We asked for the lady who booked our stay and were told she had resigned. The two ladies who helped us looked as unfamiliar as they were with the system, groping along.  

While Tony and I waited for our room assignment, sons #1 and #3 walked about, as though casing the joint. Their long faces and “report” distressed me: all facilites had been closed for repairs.  

No more heated swimming pool, gym, spa, salon, dressing rooms, Jacuzzi, library, function rooms, recreation room, rows of aquariums, elevator, chat corners, and shuttle carts/vans. At the main dining room, the menu listed only eight ordinary dishes. 

The other places that used to serve gourmet meals had been closed, too. 

I feel so sad, I whispered. 

My two sons whispered something like . . . we have happy memories here. My heart bawled. 

The main hotel was padlocked (“for maintenance”) so we were led to the new building. The size of rooms had shrunk. And the walls? Bare.   

Even the scenery was gone. From the patio, all I saw were trees, now very tall and very wide, blocking the panoramic view.    

With nothing else to do, we napped the afternoon away. Is our palette of happy colors gone? Sob. 

Checking out early, son #3 said we could have lunch at an Italian restaurant that he spotted on our way to the resort. And irony of ironies, that was the highlight of our family time! Entering the place, we were welcomed by the aroma of excellent food. Around the lunch table, our joy more than made up for all the heartaches we felt at the resort. 

No, the palette of happy colors need not go away. Grace enables wonderful memories to stay.  

Is "Yes" a Bad Word?

In a marriage proposal, the man asks the woman, "Will you marry me?" 

A "yes" answer makes everyone, especially the proposer, jubilant. This is actually recorded on camera, and often, the shots are not candid. But a celebration follows and planning for the wedding begins. The news is flashed on socmed, along with a photo of the engagement ring, and immediately the announcement is flooded with congratulatory messages.  

But according to Butch, a recovered drug user, "My life in hell began with a 'yes.' My addiction started on that day I could not refuse a friend’s invitation. 

"He was very persuasive, 'Butch, you have to come to my party!'  

“I knew I was courting trouble because his parties were famous for being wild. Yet I said, 'yes'.  I was sure I could easily handle the situation."   

Butch could not.  

When a joint was offered him, he said "yes" again and took a puff, then another "yes" and another "yes" plus many more. Not long after the party, he was hooked and moved to stronger illegal substances which cursed him for 10 years.  

He credits his miraculous recovery to divine intervention. "Drug users could never do it on their own,"  he said. In the rehab center where Butch is a volunteer counselor today, one of his pieces of advice is, “Before you are persuaded or coerced into saying 'yes' to a puff or a sip or a pill, run away as fast as you can."

Two of our Bible heroes refused to say "yes" and because of their faith in God, they had the strength to stand their ground, despite their youth. 

One was Daniel. He “was determined not to defile himself by eating the food and wine given to them by the king. He asked the chief of staff for permission not to eat these unacceptable foods.”(Daniel 1:8 NLT) 

He did not accept the gifts that Belshazzar promised him if he would interpret the handwriting on the wall and he defied the order for him to stop praying to God.  As a result, he faced the lions’ den (chapters 5-6). 

 

The other young man was Joseph. He became a slave to Potiphar, a top official of the  King of Egypt. Potiphar’s wife was attracted to him and begged him to go to bed with her. He knew the danger of "yes," so he repelled and resisted her advances.    

She persistently begged him, but day after day, Joseph was obstinate. One day, she simply grabbed him, and Joseph quickly pulled away (Genesis 39:1-20). This led to the circumstances that finally made Joseph a powerful man in Egypt.  

God’s grace works in unexpected ways, with twists and turns that lead us back to Him—if we believe and don't say "yes" to attractive lures like earhtly rewards. 

Yes, "yes" can be a bad word. We need to be careful before we utter it. 

Yes Means No (?)

Hebrews 12 tells us in no uncertain terms that our first priority should be a life with Christ. And the key to such life is discipline. 

The chapter begins with, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” (NLT)

One of the weights that slow us down is the word “yes.” We say “yes” when we mean “no.” Why? 

“I do not want to be mean or unhelpful.” 

“I get caught off guard.”  

“I don’t want to miss out on an opportunity.” 

And so we say “yes” when we shouldn’t—and neglect our first priority. Saying “no” should be simple, if we are to heed Jesus, Who said in Matthew 5:37, “Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.” 

Prioritizing simply means saying “no” to earthly convenience that blocks our journey with and toward Jesus. Many drug users got hooked by not saying "no" to a party where marijuana and alcohol are served. After the first puff or first sip came the knell of addiction.  

Miss X, a school counselor who faces students in trouble because they couldn’t say “no” has this advise: “Don’t answer right away. Just say, ‘Let me check my schedule and get back to you. Asking for time gives you a chance to look for wise answers.”  

In the end, however, a simple, direct “no,” as Jesus said, should eliminate the expectation of any other answer and immediately frees up both the person asking and the person answering. 

But this is easier said than done, especially if we don't want to be excluded from the groups we belong to. We need the grace of self-restraint not to say “yes,” and the grace of courage to say “no.”