Performative Male?!

Now as old as the hills, I am still constantly enabled by grace to learn something new and surprising every day. 

I borrowed this photo from Mark because my book, The Teacher in Me, is in one hand and matcha on the other. My advocacy is for young people to love reading the printed page. 

But when I saw him in church, he explained that the photo was about being a performative male. 

"What’s that?"  

He tried to explain, but I couldn’t understand a word. The many young people around us giggled. 

Then one of them, Carla, sent me later an article to explain it.  

Further research opened my ears and eyes. It originated from J.L. Austin's concept of "performative utterances" but has evolved into a modern social media archetype.  It describes men curating a persona to attract women, who reject “toxic masculinity” because they prefer sensitive souls that: listen to evocative music, read specific books, carry tote bags with feminist slogans, wear certain t-shirts,  drink matcha, and adopt an aesthetic look, even with zero interest in them.  

“Performative male” is viewed as a fake portrayal of real values, but done only to project an image of a “nice guy" who is politically aware. 

Knowing Mark, an active youth leader in church, with various ministries (a real nice guy) and who reads the good Book, I realized the photo is just one of his jokes, a satire, so to speak. I have never doubted his being a sensitive soul. As a playful jokester, he finds ways to make people (like me) smile and laugh. 

 

Thank you Lord for blessing us with a vibrant, enthusiastic youth group in our church. We who are in our twilight years are assured that those whom we will leave behind will be focused, not on themselves or the world, but solely on You. Amen.  

Saturday Nights Year Six

From Reuben Tribe, our church’s small group’s name was changed to Kalye Gamaliel. based on the new curriculum. 

In the Bible, Gamaliel was a highly respected Pharisee, Jewish law expert, and member of the Sanhedrin, the Jewish high court (Book of Acts). He was known for his wisdom, lenient approach to the law, and for being the teacher of Saul (who later became Apostle Paul). 

As a mentor of Saul of Tarsus (Acts 22:3), he taught lenient approach to the law. When the Sanhedrin wanted to execute the apostles for preaching Jesus, Gamaliel urged moderation:

“So my advice is, leave these men alone. Let them go. If they are planning and doing these things merely on their own, it will soon be overthrown. But if it is from God, you will not be able to overthrow them. You may even find yourselves fighting against God!” Acts 5:38 NLT 

His principles encouraged discernment: first processing and assessing new movements of people and events before acting rashly against them. In our language today, “Chill!” “Chllax!” What a coincidence that our facilitator is a lawyer (son #3).  

Back to our Saturday Nights—from Kalye Gamaliel, our name might change again, based on a newer curriculum. But the essence of our small group remains—camaraderie and enthusiasm over food, laughter, chats, testimonies, praises, and most importantly, gaining deeper insights into and discernment of the Lord’s message to us.  

Our Saturday nights teem with grace.

Gift of Time

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

At no time in the history of cosmetics have women been more vocal about looking younger and prettier than today.

Beauty products that are focused on looks for women, and even for men, have become multi-billion-dollar businesses. Never before have there been more gyms and spas to make people feel good about themselves.

Beauty clinics have likewise been ultra lucrative. Every day, there is someone undergoing surgery or treatment for bigger eyes, a higher nose bridge, firmer breasts, and whiter skin – and talking about it in ads or to friends.

“Take 10 years off your face,” one ad says. By eliminating eye bags, wrinkles, sagging jowls and the telltale signs of aging, one can indeed look younger.

But Mark Twain said this about aging: “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

Aging is part of life as God designed it. We cannot stop it or deny it. We can have all the surgeries, cosmetics, herbs, and pills available to us today, but time will still tick by. We will grow old. And we will look it and feel it eventually, no matter how much we may try to delay it.

It is best, then, to enjoy the seasons of life – teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and so on. Let’s delight in the different experiences that our life stages bring. With age comes wisdom and maturity that even the greatest mind of youth cannot begin to imagine.

Lord, thank You for the gift of time. Help me to use it as best as I can according to Your divine plan for my life.

(This post in one of the 365 entries in the devotional Grace Found Me, a recipient of the 2012 Gintong Aklat [Golden Book] Award, Inspirational Category, from the Book Development Association of the Philippines. I decided to revisit it because these days, aging seems to be a sin.) 

When Old Friends Meet: Magical

It took months and hundreds of postponements before this meet-up came through. And when it did, it was magical. 

If only two more (Ms. Yay and Ms. Ciel now both live abroad) were with us, it would have been manna.  

Meet-ups used to be often because we were all colleagues in a university, where students addressed us Ms., and where we each taught different subjects. 

But Ms. Caroline moved to another university, Ms. Ayet and Ms. Rose opted to teach online, and I was left alone teaching one subject F2F once a week. To say it was difficult to have the same free time is an understatement. 

So how did this finally happen? Health break. 

Schools and local governments declared a week-long  holiday because of the outbreak of a flu-like virus (cough and colds) that is highly infectious, with dangers of leading to serious complications.  

And so we created our own definition of health break: have a rare bonding time, reminiscing about the good old days. The laughter, food, and unhurried non-work hours did wonders for our health. 

It was magical!   

Privilege Card

It has become my norm to dine out alone to escape the dust and the grating sounds in our home. Since June, when the renovation of our 48-year-old house started, dust and sounds have been my daily associates. 

Without sounding schmaltzy, I look back to those days before Tony left us for his eternal home in January this year. I never had to dine alone—not at home or outside. 

Today, I had lunch in a resto that bears my name, Mary Grace. When I asked for my tab, the waiter asked, “Ma’am, do you have a privilege card?” 

I pondered that for a few seconds. “Sorry, no, I only have a senior citizen card.” 

He grinned. “That was what I meant, Ma’am. But others get offended with the word senior.” 

LOL. I have embraced the life of a senior from day one. With it comes so many privileges. I get escorted to the comfort room, sales people offer me a seat in a store, security guards open doors for me, traffic policemen help me cross a street, etc. I get preferential treatment in crowded or wide places wherever I go. 

Those are privileges (countless!) that came with my senior citizen card. 

I had written about this in one of books, "What, Me Retire?"  

The day I received my senior citizen card, I had it immediately laminated, and after caressing it, I kept it inside a special space in my cardholder. A week later, after dining in a resto with Tony, the waiter gave us the tab. Tony handed him his senior citizen card. And then . . . with dramatic flourish, I took my own new card and waved it in slomo to the waiter. I heard in my mind a background music swell into crescendo. 

It was a moment of rare privilege and grace.    

A Most Beautiful Event

Beautiful is such a common word that we use it each time we see something that refreshes the eyes. But I am using it here in the context of something that goes beyond what my eyes see--but what my heart and soul feel. 

Baptism.

It is a most beautiful event because it's a public celebration of a person's spiritual transformation and new life in Christ. With deep symbolic meaning, baptism provides an opportunity for me and the community of believers (the church to which I belong) to witness and support the person’s public declaration of faith. 

On our church’s 50th anniversary worship service, two young people were baptized. One of them, Ygo, is the elder son of the couple in whose wedding I was a ninang.  I have likewise seen how this kid grew up into a responsible young man, who decided to openly manifest his faith to a church brimming with witnesses. 

While Christ is his personal decision, baptism is a public, outward expression of that inner commitment to Jesus. Immersion in water symbolizes the death and burial of one's old, sinful life, and rising out of the water represents resurrection to a brand-new life with Christ. (I included an image of the dove as symbol of the Holy Spirit, representing His descent upon Jesus during His baptism and His presence in every baptized Christian.)

The other young man, Ryan, is relatively a new member of our church, but his walk with Jesus was quick, as though he ran all the way to the place where we see our own faith journey and God’s grace. 

This shared experience, as we continue to celebrate with thanksgiving our 50 years guided by our faithful God, strengthens our bonds. 

Following the Savior's example, this obedience is . . . beyond tears of joy and words.