Two Hands-off Moms

Although I have always believed that mothers should not be honored only today, Mother’s Day, I would like to pay tribute to two great moms whom we sorely miss.

At first blush, they were poles apart. Mama Chit (my mom) loved to talk and Amah Alice (Tony’s mom) loved to listen.

Mama was pure Ilocana and Amah was pure Chinese. It was a big, wild wonder how they got along so well together, and held each other with affection and respect.

Mama lived in the province and Amah lived close to us in Las Pinas. So they never really saw each other often. But during the times my mom would visit my family, she would walk over to Amah’s house, every afternoon, and they would have a one-way chat.

But peering closely, one would see that they were very similar in the things that really mattered.

They both left my husband and me alone, respecting our decisions and never blaming us for our mistakes. They gave "hands-off" a new, wonderful dimension. Although they were always supportive of our plans and were there when we asked for help, they never imposed any rule; never obligated us to do anything we hadn’t planned on doing.

Mama had one strong advice for me though: “You may pick a fight with me, but never, ever with your mother-in-law!” This I heeded to the letter.

I suspect—and I have every reason to believe—that Amah had the same advice for Tony.

Two great moms, two great mothers-in-law. Now that they are both ‘beyond the sunset’ or on the other side of the pearly gates, I am sure they are conversing. Rather, one is talking and the other, listening.

Is there any other way to describe how they were to us but acts of grace?