Thick Skull

The idiom “thick skull” describes someone who is inflexible or stubborn, someone who can be overly willful. Once he has made up his mind about something or someone, there’s no way anybody can change it.

Our driver Mas (not his real name) always took only one route to Makati for years. Tony, my husband, told him to look for alternative routes to avoid the horrendous traffic. Mas would insist, “No, Sir, this is the best way.” 

One day, Tony instructed Mas, “Follow that red car. My friend and I are attending the same Rotary Club meeting.”   

But Mas was obstinate. He took the route he was used to. When they reached the venue of the meeting, Tony’s friend had been there for an hour! By going through another route, the red car was able to cut the driving time in half.

Tony took the opportunity to talk to Mas about having a teachable spirit—about listening to and learning from the wisdom of others.

Unless it is specifically written in the Bible for us to follow, there is always a better way, a better route, a better idea in doing things. And these could come from anyone in our various circles.

Proverbs 3:7 reminds us, “Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.” 

We are told of the benefits of wisdom in Proverbs 2:2-4, “Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures.”

Like Mas, sometimes we can’t see grace even if it it stares us in the face. We need a  glaring illustration to open our eyes and be proven wrong.

The Bible is clear, we need to listen and search for insight outside of ourselves. 

Youngest, Oldest

I used to hate being the youngest here, the youngest there, the youngest wherever I went. My parents enrolled me in first grade at age five. Without K-12 in those days,  I graduated from college at age 18. 

In all the church activities (summer camp, conference, seminar), I was the youngest. I was also the youngest faculty member in a university—my students were all older. So I strove to look old. I wore outfits that adult people wore: blazers, high-heeled shoes, make-up. No jeans or sneakers. I styled my hair in a severe bun. 

Fast forward to 2024. 

Now I am the oldest there, the oldest here, and the oldest wherever I go. Where have the good-young-days gone?  I could be stubborn, though. I still look for new things to learn and defy the adage, "You can't teach old dogs new tricks."  

In the mall one day, while I was gawking at distressed jeans, wondering if I still could summon the  nerve to wear them, the salesgirl asked, “For your granddaughter?” 

I was appalled, so I snapped, “I have no granddaughter!” 

That should have given her the hint, but she pushed, “Oh, for a grandniece then?”  

I could have left the store in a huff, with a vow never (cancel culture) to return, but the grace of good humor prevailed and I joked, laughing, “I was thinking if I could buy it for myself to wear in class to shock my Gen-Z students.”     

She guffawed; I giggled. 

In moments like this, Psalm 71 is uplifting. The psalmist talks about God’s presence throughout his life. “Yes, you have been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me. No wonder I am always praising you!” (Psalm 71:6 NLT) 

When the Psalmist was older, he proclaimed in verse 18, “Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.” 

Waking up hale and sound every morning, I remember God’s faithfulness—from my youngest years to my oldest days. 

Why Should We laugh?

Some  people laugh more than others, but we all laugh—in different ways: Ha-ha-ha! He-he-he! Yuk-yuk-yuk! Gik-gik-gik! Har-har-har!   

Now, listen to yourself when you’re laughing. You'll hear happy sounds.

Why do we laugh? And why should we? 

Laughter, which is only found in humans, gives us wonderful feelings.  

Animals don't, and can't, laugh. The laughing hyena does not really laugh. Its sound (to confuse the animals it wants to eat) only seems like laughter.

Scientific research tells us that a baby, as early as three months old, starts laughing. Why? 

Laughter serves a social function. It is our signal to other people that we wish to connect with them. Although sometimes we laugh alone when we find something funny, we laugh more often in a group, with family and friends. 

Young children between the ages of 2.5 and 4 were found to be eight times more likely to laugh at a cartoon when they watched it with another child than when they watched it alone. 

In a study among adults, the participants were asked to listen to a series of laughter. They had been able to determine the difference between laughter of people who had just met and laughter among long-time friends. These suggest true laughter is linked to friendship. 

Aside from social connection, Mayo clinic lists many physical health benefits of laughter: 

- increases our oxygen intake, which can stimulate our heart, lungs, and    muscles. 

- releases endorphins, the feel-good chemicals our bodies produce to make us feel happy and relieve our pain or stress.

 - calms and relives tension by increasing and then decreasing our heart rate and blood pressure. 

- can boost our immune system response through the release of stress-and-illness-reducing neuropeptides.

So how can laughter not be God’s gift to man?  He loves us so much He wants us to feel better and be happy. 

We are happy when we laugh. 

"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." (James 1:17 NASB) 

Let's laugh out loud when we can! 

The Wound that Wouldn’t Heal

Grief is caused by varied events: betrayal of a confidant; separation from a loved one; unrequited love; death in the family; etc. But each one can leave a wound that wouldn’t heal. 

If it happens on a Wednesday, it affects all our Wednesdays (plus all days of our weeks) thereafter. Life has changed and so have we.

This grief brings a pain we cannot ignore, as sensitively rendered by my artist/writer friend, Lorenz, who uploaded this on his FB wall sometime ago. I downloaded it because it graphically illustrates how a wounded someone (including me) feels at some point in his/her life. 

(The Wound that Wouldn't Heal by ENZO) 

Yet, despite what we feel, the world turns: children attend school, employees go to work, housewives shop in supermarkets, scammers prey on the naive; politicians deceive voters, etc. 

We, the wounded ones, are left to wonder with the prophet, “Why is my pain unceasing, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?” (Jeremiah 15:18) 

C.S. Lewis describes his after the death of his wife, in A Grief Observed. C.S. Lewis describes his after the death of his wife, in A Grief Observed. Let me quote some parts: 

“In grief nothing ‘stays put.’ One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. . ."   

This heart-stabbing we feel is found in Scriptures.

It was felt by Jesus Himself. At the Triumphal Entry, while descending the Mount of Olives, His disciples cried out, “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the LORD!” (Luke 19:38)

Then, when Jesus drew near the city, He was so pained that he wept (Luke 19:41). This alludes to Jeremiah (9:1), the weeping prophet:  

“Oh that my head were waters,

and my eyes a fountain of tears,

that I might weep day and night

for the slain of the daughter of my people!” 

We may never return to life as it once was. But—although easier said than done—we must never let this ache stop us from living. We can ask for grace moment by moment, groan by groan, tear by tear. That old wound may never heal in this life, but Jesus will glorify our scars in the next.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3 ESV)   

Am I a Swiftie?

 “Did you know that Taylor Swift . . .” I began. 

“You are a Swiftie??!! three incredulous voices with matching incredulous faces assaulted me around the dining table. 

What the three men (husband, sons #1 and #3) did not verbalize was, at your age?! 

No, at my age, I am not a Swiftie. But as a writer, and now as a facilitator in Sunday school for women, I shun linear thinking and work at being a lateral thinker while enjoying the process. I try to answer “whys” and “wherefores” with as wide a perspective as I could manage within all life stages, especially the youth's. I feel old, but I refuse to think old. 

Keeping pace with changes is not about taking part but keeping watch. 

Even if I now see where fashion colors are going, I stick to my monochromes and what the Gen Z’s call matchy-matchy. I read books from the printed page not from the Internet. I wear leather footwear to church and not sneakers. Old habits neither die nor fade away. 

Digging deeper, however, I may be accused of not being inclusive—stubbornly hanging on to the values I learned by grace from the good Book. 

These verses say it for me in concrete terms:  

“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.” (2 Timothy 3:1-5 ESV)  

Keeping pace with changes is closely keeping watch where the world is going because . . . 

“Behold, I am coming like a thief! Blessed is the one who stays awake, keeping his garments on, that he may not go about naked and be seen exposed!” (Revelation 16:15)

The 3 R’s

At the university where I took up my communications degree, I had to sink or swim. The professors didn’t care whether students failed or passed. 

However, at the university where I teach part-time today, our caring dean requires the faculty members to meet with students at risk—those in danger of failing for whatever reason. He encourages every professor to devise his own early intervention program to help these students make the grade. 

I have adapted the three R’s, which I learned from our Bible study group: Rebuke, Remind, and Redeem.

Bringing back a truant student to where he should be is like bringing back a backsliding believer to Jesus.   

1. Rebuke is to correct. I reprimand them about their failings and violations. “Joyful are those you discipline, Lord, those you teach with your instructions.” (Psalm 94:12 NLT)

2. Remind is to prompt. I detail their responsibilities as students and their obligations to their parents who work hard to finance their education. “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.” (Luke 16:10) 

3. Redeem is to pay the price for someone’s freedom. I tell them that my neck is on the line. They either shape up or I ship out (very tactfully, with well-chosen words, of course). “I have swept away your sins like a cloud. I have scattered your offenses like the morning mist. Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free.” (Isaiah 44:22)

The three R’s are about emulating Jesus in performing our roles in our careers and ministries. Apostle Paul wrote, “. . . you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1)

Caveat: Students are a captive audience; they are under the teacher's care. How about backsliding faith brethren? How are we to do the three R's? Here's where we need gobs and gobs of grace to guide us.   

Who Reads Bio-notes?

First off, what is a bio-note? It is short for biographical note; ergo, it's hyphenated. It is evolving into one word, but up until it appears in legitimate dictionaries, I will use the hyphen. (Hah, a stickler for rules!) 

The publishers of my books always require an updated bio-note for every new book. They say it helps establish the author's credibility, provides context for the work, and facilitates their networking and marketing (on various media) goals.  

Net net, a bio-note is written for adults, including those who purchase storybooks for children. 

Was I surprised when I saw this photo on the FB page of Aklatang Tambayan ng Kabataan Paranas Chapter.

 

The little girl (about 6 or 7 years old) is so intent in reading my bio-note instead of reading the storybook like what all the others inside the classroom are doing!  

What could be running in her mind? 

My bio-note summarizes awards, educational attainment, current persuasions, and professional involvement—all adult stuff.  

Huh?! 

Admonition to self: Do not put children in boxes. There are those—like this kid above—who go against the grain. That is what you preach in all your book talks before young, would-be authors. 

How I wish I could meet this little girl!