A Blog in the Shadows

Before the Ides of March, which unsettles me, I need to write about it now. That special event has to leave the shadows and step into the light.    

Although the Ides of March is no longer an ominous, dark day but a historical one, I still flinch when I remember how we dissected Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar in my MA class.  He was stabbed to death by 50-60 conspirators (Roman senators) in the Theatre of Pompey.  Twenty three stab wounds to stop Caesar’s growing power is petrifying even today. 

And so, before that fateful date comes . . ,   

During our Chit cub-clan reunion in December, my brothers broached the idea of commemorating Tony’s first death anniversary, Babang Luksa.  Yes, I thought, it would be another chance to bond!   

Son #3 looked up Babang Luksa: literally, it means lowering of mourning. It is a Filipino tradition practiced on the first death anniversary of a loved one, marking the end of the 12-month mourning period. It serves as a cultural milestone for families to achieve closure, honor the deceased, and transition back to normal life. 

Traditionally, immediate family members wear black for a full year after a death. Babang luksa marks the day they discard this mourning attire and can wear colorful clothes again, signaling that the grief period has passed.

Meeting in January on Tony’s death anniversary had nothing to do with all those.  

There is no specific period for mourning. It is unscheduled. That's why this blog is two months too late.    

Colorful clothes have no season.  

Grief has teeth; it demands to be acknowledged. 

And closure never comes. As soon as I uttered, "I'll move on." my sister Aie snapped in a strident voice. "There is no such thing as move on! Move on means you abandon something behind.” 

Commemorating Tony’s death anniversary was a thanksgiving for God’s gift of life. Ten people (23 more in spirit) worshipped together in a liturgical service. 

John 11: 25-26 (TEV) “Jesus said: ‘I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me will live, even though they die; and those who live and believe in me will never die.’” 

1Thessalonians 4:14 “Lord, we believe. Help our unbelief. We believe that Jesus died and rose again; so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have died believing in him.”

2 Corinthians 5:1 “For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.”

Romans 8:11, 35, 37, 39  “. . . If God is for us, who can be against us? Who, then, can separate us from the love of Christ? Can trouble do it, or hardships, or persecution, or hunger, or poverty, or danger, or death? No, in all these things we have complete victory through him who loved us! There is nothing in all creation that will ever be able to separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ our Lord.”

For AMEN, we tried hard, and failed harder, to sing the Lutkin’s Benediction with finesse.  

Food (Tony’s love language), prayers, photos and words of remembrance filled the rest of the day.