Chivalry is Alive

"If Chivalry is dead, women killed it,” said Dave Chappelle, an American comedian, and many others who might have quoted him or had the same idea. 

Chivalry as we used to define it in my time is gallantry, courtesy, and readiness to help the weak—noble qualities of the knight in shining armor who saved women in distress.

Then, men opened doors for women, offered their seats and jackets, walked on the danger side of the street, and paid for all the bills on dates and parties. 

These are different times. 

The most common scapegoat for the death or near-death of chivalry (as an aside, my family is of the old world in this respect) is the feminist movement. Many laws have been passed in many countries since the 70’s on the equal rights of women, and many old habits have been altered. 

The other scapegoat is the abolition of ROTC that taught young men good manners and right conduct in society.

And the universal scapegoat is, of course, technology, which has kept us in our own little bubble.

The days of scented love letters have been taken over by ungrammatical, hastily written emails.  Visits to ladies’ dorms and homes (including the late-night serenade) have been replaced by hurried text messages and phone calls.

The smaller the world is becoming, the easier it is to communicate, and therefore the need to reach out to others personally has drastically fallen to the bottom of priorities.  

I had this frame of mind when I boarded a bus for Makati last week.  It was SRO but I had an appointment to catch, so I thought standing from Las Pinas to Makati was the better deal than being late.

There were burly, able-bodied young men seated all around, some looking out the window, some  riveted to the TV set, and some feigning sleep.   

Then a young, slight lady, maybe in her early 20’s, suddenly stood up and tapped my shoulder.  “Ma’am, you may take my seat.”

“Oh, no! I can’t do that.  But thank you anyway,” I said, surprised by her kindness.

“Please,” she said, giving me a sweet, lovely smile.

The men heard nothing, saw nothing, said nothing.

So I took her seat, and thanked the Lord for this unexpected grace. 

“You are an angel,” I told her.

Now that I was comfortable, I looked around.  There was a pregnant lady and another lady carrying a toddler at the back, both trying hard to balance themselves as the bus driver hit the brakes.

Then an elderly, stooped man came into the bus.  He joined the rest of humanity who were in the bus aisle trying to live with what is. 

So is chivalry dead?

Our world is going into a new direction and we seem to be powerless to stop it.  But I believe that my angel that day was taught about chivalry.  Not chivalry as we define or defile it, but chivalry as good parents know it, and teach it. 

Children who learn the right values at an early age—in homes that live by Bible truths and follow the ways of Jesus—carry these with them as they grow up, whether they're men or women.

In them, chivalry is alive.