5/08/2011

Medals of Motherhood


“Where are you going?” he asks.

“To Makati,” I reply.

“Where in Makati?” he pushes.

“Greenbelt.”

"What will you do there?” he probes.

“Have lunch with my old friends from my old office,” I say.

“What time are you coming home?”

“Before five PM,” I estimate.

“Okay, please make sure you're home by five.”

That isn't my husband conducting an inquest. It's any of my two sons (a third one is married and lives abroad),  both at the age of reason. They ask questions as soon as they see me with my lipstick on. They forget that they were once tiny babies floating in my womb, helpless and totally dependent on me.

Now grown, my sons think they have earned the right to run my life.

I could get used to it. A mother basks in the glory of attention, even if it means answering a slew of questions and making sure she's home by five.

Such are the medals of motherhood, a special role that begins with an announcement: “I'm pregnant.”

Suddenly, the whole world is behind your back, giving opinions and advice, much like bees swarming over honey.  If it is your first baby, you can't tell whether they're valid or not, but you listen to them all because, what do you know?  

Let me share some of the opinions I got during my first pregnancy:  

“You look more beautiful now, your baby is a girl.” “Don't drink too much water or the baby will drown.” “Avoid spicy food, or your baby would be born with bumps on his face.”  “Don't buy stuff before the baby's born, or you'll miscarry.” “Refrain from raising your arms above your head, or the umbilical cord will get wrapped around his neck.”  “If you have intense itch on your tummy, your baby is hairy.”

Mine was a delicate and difficult pregnancy so I couldn't take these to heart. Which was just as well; I found out soon enough that they are myths.

My baby is a boy. He didn't drown from my drinking too much water.  My eating spicy food produced not one bump on his face.  I didn't miscarry. I often raised my arms above my head but he came out free of his umbilical cord.  Despite my super itchy tummy, he isn't hairy.

There were, however, five pieces of advice from my own mother, which I discovered later were quotes from authorities. I heeded them because she made sure I did:     

1.  “Be joyful always.  In everything give thanks.” Paul in the Bible 

2.  “Listen to music. It will stimulate your baby's creative thinking.” Mozart's mom 

3.  “Don't miss any of your pre-natal check ups.” Dr. Benjamin Spock, an American Pediatrician who wrote Baby and Child Care, the biggest best-seller in my time  

4.  “Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.”  Food and Nutrition Research Institute  

5.  “Pray for a healthy baby and safe delivery every day.” Her mother (my grandma) 

I listened because, well, she birthed me and I was about to become a mom like her. 

Now that the boys I birthed myself have minds of their own and have become inquisitors, I look back to those years when they were tiny acrobats in my tummy, tumbling and kicking at all hours, making me feel the bounty and miracle of life.

Today, I feast my eyes on them (only when they're not looking) and ask myself, “What did I do to deserve such caring young men?”

And I am reminded that difficult and delicate pregnancies notwithstanding, I had been inordinately blessed and bemedaled. God's most special gift or prize to a mother are babies to care for—babies who, in later years, mature into young men (or women) who will care for her in return.

Two words encapsulate it all—happy endings. 

(Today being Mother's Day, I am posting my Happy Endings column in Moms and Kids magazine, last quarter issue 2010, as a tribute to those enjoying the grace of motherhood.)

 

10 comments:

chongkee said...

I know what you mean, but i think the statement "any of my two sons" implies that you have only two sons.

Happy mothers' day!

Grace D. Chong said...

Oh, yeah, come to think of it, you're right. I wrote this last year, five years after you left for the US. Sorry about that -- will revise, creative license.

Ric Robin Cagnaan said...

I think this book reminds everyone of their mother and the hardships a mother faced.

Grace D. Chong said...

Yes, I agree. I hope every kid is proud of his/her mom. Whatever she's doing, she's doing it for her child.

Ryan Rotor said...

Happy Mother's day, ms. G

Grace D. Chong said...

Thank you, Ryan.

Anonymous said...

Aww it's so cute how it's now your sons who are "interrogating" you. I've been a long-time reader of your blog and children's books Ms. Grace, and I've been "indoctrinating" my little nieces and nephew with the virtues of reading through your books. My nephew loves your Mateo series!

Grace D. Chong said...

Thank you for your kind words, Tin. I am delighted to hear you visit my blog often.I hope to meet you and your nieces and nephews one day--maybe at the International Book Fair this September?

Tin said...

I've been a consistent book fair goer for years, even back when it was still held at WTC. I even saw you a couple of times but I was too embarrassed to say hi. I kind of just freeze and gawk at people I admire whenever I see them.

I wish I could bring them all but my niece (my brother's kid) is currently in Gensan. My other niece and nephew (my cousin's kids) are in Rizal so maybe they could come.

Thanks so much for visiting my blog and for leaving a comment! I was so flattered and excited I think I even screamed a little. :D

Grace D. Chong said...

It's a date. See you and your niece and nephew from Rizal at the Book Fair!