A Long 20-day Goodbye

While the world reveled on New Year's day (2025), we rushed Tony to the emergency room due to difficulty of breathing. Three days earlier, the medical staff in the same emergency room sent him home because his oxygen level, x-ray,  blood pressure, and other tests were normal.

But the breathing difficulty persisted, so I called his cardiologist on January 1. 

She ordered, “Bring him back to the hospital and insist that he be admitted for more tests.” 

We were ushered to the room with a view. 

A battery of “logists” of various human organs—beginning and ending with his main doctor, the cardiologist—came in and out, ruling out one suspicion after another.

 

Tony, as he was wont to do, had an opinion on everything, but tried to be docile while I, son #1 and son #3 were there to keep watch day and night. Volunteers (family and friends) to take over were countless, but he remained hard-nosed, unwilling to be seen in bed.   

Son #2, a physician in the US, kept in touch via video calls. On the 17th day, he dropped everything and flew in with his wife and son. 

True to form, Tony was adamant, “Why are they coming?”  He loathed being fussed over. 

Every day, telltale signs were nudging us progressively, but we looked the other way. He had lost his big appetite, strength to sit up, and lust for reading. Only his mind was intact—while ours became fuzzy—barking orders to driver Sam and Mother Teresa. 

His cardio was hinting that his heart was failing; still, we were all floating in a separate universe. Son #1 kept buying his favorite foods; son #3 was scouting for a hospital bed and commode; and I had contracted two caregivers for home care. 

When sons #1, #2, and #3 were together in his room, they watched TV while I took photos. "This is how it will always be," I thought. 

I was wrong.

It was our 20th day, and Mother Teresa took over as the night watch, so we could all catch up on our sleep. But she called after a couple of hours, begging us to go back, defying Tony’s order not to do so. 

My strong-willed, obstinate roommate of almost 55 years was peacefully asleep when we reached him, but his faint heart hobbled along. The Lord enabled us to say our final goodbyes before He took him home. Time stamp: January 20, 2025, 11:56 PM.  

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11